Her Person
by thousand-miles
Summary: He was her person. Her true north, her body yearned for his and she only ever felt whole when she was with him. Dembe realizes Red needs Lizzie and calls for his help. Neither one knows what is going on with him. Can Lizzie be his person? (Lizzington of course)
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Her Person

 **Author:** thousand-miles

 **Rating:** T

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own these wonderful characters.

 **A/N:** I am not really sure where this came from nor do I know what is going to happen. Usually it is Red doing all the comforting but I want it to be the other way round. I want Liz to take care if Red.

 **Chapter one**

He was her person. Her true north, her body yearned for his and she only ever felt whole when she was with him. When he wasn't there it felt like a vital part of her was missing. When she was in need, he was there with open arms, ready to give her whatever comfort she needed. She felt all that, yet had never told him so. It felt safer to admire and love from afar than take the risk of rejection. She was brought out of her musings by the ringing of her cellphone.

"Agent Keen." It was Dembe's soft voice that greeted her.

"Dembe?" She was surprised. Dembe never called her.

"I need your assistance with Raymond."

"What's wrong?" She hadn't talked to him for a week. She hadn't even known he was back or what he had been up to. He had been distant the last time she'd seen him. She wondered if she'd done something wrong, made him angry somehow.

"I am not entirely sure, but he is not well."

"What do you mean? Where have you two been?"

"I was here. Raymond was away."

"Alone?"

"Yes."

"Where was he?"

"I don't know. He didn't tell me."

"Are you sure you need my help? I'm not sure I'm the right person." She hesitated.

"For Raymond you are the only person."

Unsure of how to respond, Lizzie stayed silent. Dembe took that silence to give her the adress and hung up fully expecting her to come to them.

It took her some time to decide wether to help him or not. It wasn't that she didn't want to help him, it was that she doubted if she really could. Hesitantly she knocked the door which opened immediately.

"I am happy you are here Agent Keen."

"Call me Liz, okay?" She'd asked him to call her that many times already but Dembe seemed to find it inappropiate or something.

Dembe nodded and stepped aside to let Lizzie into the house. "He's upstairs. First room on your right."

"Do you know what's wrong with him?"

"No." Dembe shook his head. "He won't talk."

"And you think he'll talk to me?" She shook her head. "I think I'm the last person he'll want to see or talk too."

"You are just what he needs, who he needs." He gently pushed the Agent towards the stairs and left her alone.

She watched him leave and looked up the stairs. She took a deep breath hoping it would calm her nerves. Standing at the door that Dembe had steered her towards she listened for any sounds, but didn't hear anything. Maybe he was asleep? Maybe it was best if she left? That's when she heard a stumble on the other side and decided not to leave.

Carefully she opened the door and peered inside. The room was dark and her eyes had to adjust to the lack of light. Stepping inside she softly closed the door behind her. Then she finally saw him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, head in his hands, shoulders slumped. His body language screamed utter defeat. She'd never seen him like this before. What happened to him? She quietly walked further into the room. There was no acknowledgement from him that he knew she was there. She was unsure how to proceed. She couldn't just stand there though. She approached the bed and sat down next to him. Still he didn't acknowledge her presence. For a while they sat in silence, the only sounds in the dark room their breaths. Needing to offer him as well as herself some comfort she shifted closer. Reaching out she lay her hand on his tigh. She waited patiently hoping he would react to her touch. When nothing happened she wanted to pull away, but that was when his hand covered hers. She breathed out a sigh of relief.

The silence continued, but she felt less unwelcome. She hoped their contact brought him some comfort. When he squeezed her hand she knew it did. She still didn't know what to say. Usually Red did most of the talking. To be with him when he was like this, she didn't know what to say or do. Yet she wanted to be his person, like he was hers. What he gave her in so many ways, she wanted to give him. She turned her hand, which was covered by Red's, her palm now upwards. It warmed her heart that he immediately threaded his fingers through hers. She heard his soft exhale. His thumb caressed her skin softly. Somehow, someway she was indeed bringing him comfort.

Her eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness. She looked at him and saw his disheveled look for the first time. His shirt was rumpled and and the top buttons open. Though she never did mind a glance at his chest and chest hair, but not when he looked like this, when it was clear he hadn't taken care of himself. His pants were just as disheveled. But when she looked at him, looked at his face, she truly realised that whatever had happened, had really shook him up. He hadn't shaved for days, an actual beard adorning his face. If it were any other situation she might have appreciated the rough look. Now she didn't. He looked as if he hadn't taken care of himself and that wasn't like him at all. She had the urge to reach out and lay her hand against his rough cheek. But most of all she saw grief and pain. She couldn't see his eyes and part of her was glad. She didn't know if she could handle the pain she knew she would find in them. Her heart broke for him. She bowed her head and a silent tear ran down her cheek.

Then he released her hand and she feared he was going to push her away. He surprised her by putting his arm around her shoulder and pulling her against his side. And as if it was the most natural thing to do she put her head on his shoulder and he put his head on top of hers.

"Where have you been, Red?"

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Here's the second chapter. Still have no idea where this is going. All I want is for Lizzie to take care of Red and for Red to need Lizzie to take care of him. I hope you'll enjoy this fic. Reviews and follows are greatly appreciated.

 **Chapter two**

He didn't immediately answer. She wasn't even sure he was going to answer when he kept silent.

"I was in Boston."

His voice was hoarse, maybe from a lack of usuage or maybe from too much? She didn't know. She hoped he would be more forthcoming, but he wasn't.

"Why were you in Boston? Business?"

"No."

"Personal then."

"Yes."

Was it too personal and was this his way of saying so? She hesitated again. She did not know this side of him.

"I'm tired." Red suddenly said.

"Oooh." Lizzie nodded. "I'll euh, I'll leave you alone then." She could wait downstairs for him. As she was about to stand up the grip he had on her hand tightened, making sure she wasn't going to leave.

"Don't." Was all he said.

"Okay."

"I'm alone." He whispered in a broken voice.

Her heart constricted painfully when she heard how broken he was. "You're not alone, Red. Never."

"Raymond." He muttered.

She didn't know what to say, nor what he meant. "I don't know..."

"There's no one left."

"Lie down, Red." She gently pushed him backwards. He did so relunctantly. She covered him with the bedsheets. She pulled the covers up to his chin. "Sleep." She whispered as she caressed his arm.

He shook his head. "No." He said though his voice missed any conviction.

"You're exhausted. You need to sleep."

He shook his head again. With some effort he sat up against the headboard. "I need to believe."

"What do you need to believe?"

"She's gone, Lizzie." It was the first time he had truly spoken to her.

She didn't know who he was talking about. She had no answer for him. "Lie back down, Red."

He gripped her hand again and looked at her. "Raymond." He said once more.

She understood him now, but didn't understand why he wanted her to call him Raymond all of a sudden. Sure she had called him Raymond in her mind, but never out loud. She nodded and when she did he lay back down. But he was still tense. He needed to relax to be able to fall asleep. She knew he had a hard time sleeping, he had told her so, but she'd never imagined it being this bad. "You got to try and relax."

He took a shaky breath which did nothing to relax his tense body. She looked at the distance beween them and decided to take a chance, "Come here." She tried to pull him against his side, but he wouldn't move. "Fine." She muttered. If he wasn't going to move closer to her, she would get closer to him. She shifted closer until her body touched his. She lay on her side, her shoulder touching his, her head on his pillow and her hand on his chest. She softly caressed his shirt clad chest and slowly felt the tension leaving his body.

Suddenly he turned his body, now laying on his stomach with her partly covered by his body. He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her tight. He lay his head on her shoulder, his face against her neck. He breathed her scent in deeply. "Lizzie." He whispered roughly.

She ran her hand softly over his short hair. "Sleep, Red."

"Don't leave too." He shuddered as he said it.

"Sleep." She whispered.

"Promise." He sounded anguished and held her tighter.

Once again she wondered what had happened to him. He sounded so small, so far away from the larger than life Concierge of Crime that she knew and had started to love. Her heart ached for him and she wanted nothing more than take away his pain. "I promise." She whispered. She wrapped both arms around him and held him against her body. His weight on her wasn't uncomfortable even though he was heavy. She kissed his head and felt his soft exhale against her neck. She shivered because of it and in respons he gently caressed her hip. She kept caressing his back until she felt all the tension leave his body and she felt the soft exhales of his breath. He was asleep and she was relieved. Finally he was getting some rest.

She woke in the middle of the night. Slightly disoriented she wondered what had woken her and where she was. The events from the day before came to her quickly. She was no longer lying on the matress. In his sleep Red had moved them. He was on his back and had pulled her on top of him. His arms were just as tightly wrapped around her as before she fell asleep.

"No." Red mumbled in his sleep. "Why?" He continued in his sleep.

His heartache was still so very clear. She still didn't know what had caused all this. Feeling him starting to move under her and his breaths becoming shorter she knew she had to calm him down. She kissed his chest softly and nuzzled his chin with her head. It didn't help and his movement continued with now his head moving from left to right. With quite some effort she turned them around, with his body covering hers again. Surprisingly the move hadn't woken him. Now with his head on her chest and wrapped in her arms he started to calm down. She brushed her lips against his head and rubbed his back. She was glad she brought him some peace of mind. It was then that a lone tear ran from his face onto her neck. "Oooh honey." She whispered and swallowed thickly at his pain. With one hand on the back of his head she held him close against. She kissed his temple and felt him brush his lips against her neck. She felt his body relax again and it wasn't look she fell asleep too.

 **TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** this fic is a tough one to write so it takes me a bit longer to update. I hope that doesn't disencourage you to continue to read it tough. Thank you for the wonderful reviews and the follows. I hope you enjoy this chapter. A kind word would be appreciated.

 **Chapter three**

The following morning, with Red still asleep and his arms still around her, Lizzie managed to carefully disentangle herself from him. Standing next to the bed she waited for a moment to see if he was going to wake up. When he didn't she quietly left his bedroom. Before joining Dembe in the kitchen she went to the bathroom to freshen up. She smiled at Dembe as he handed her a hot cup of coffee and sat down.

"How is he?" He asked her, his dark eyes full of worry.

She ran a hand through her hair and searched for the right words to describe Red's state of mind. "I've never seen him like this." She looked at the cup in her hands. "He's seems lost." She looked at Dembe. "You don't know where he went?"

"I don't. He just left. He was distressed but wouldn't let me accompany him." He considered Raymond his brother and he would do anything for him. Yet he also knew there were parts of him that Raymond kept closely guarded. He had hoped that with Elizabeth in his life he would finally be willing to share that closely guarded part of himself. So far he hadn't but maybe now he would.

"He was in Boston. That's all he said." She looked at Dembe. "He lost someone. He made me promise I wouldn't leave him. I've never seen him like this before. I don't know if I can help him, Dembe."

"You're the only one who can."

Both sat in silence, drinking their coffee and lost in thought. Lizzie looked at her watch. "I'm going to go home and grab some clothes and stuff while he's still asleep. Will you keep a close eye on him?"

He nodded. "I will."

She grabbed her jacket. "Call me if you need me. I'll be back as soon as possible." She left then, got into her car and drove him. All the while Red was on her mind. She hoped he was still sleeping and wouldn't notice her absence. His distress and her promise to him to not leave him weigh heavily on her shoulders. At home she grabbed a bag and put some clothes into it. She wondered how much she would need and decided to take enough for a couple of days. In the bathroom she also put her toiletries in her bag. Before she left she called Cooper. Since Red was still away she requested some vacation time which Cooper granted. With everything now taken care off, she locked her front door and was glad she could return to Red.

Slightly anxious she entered Red's house again. She hoped Red was still asleep. She put her bag down in the small hall way and found Dembe in the living room. "You heard anything?" She asked when he looked up.

"No."

"I'll check on him."

"Elizabeth," Dembe said before she walked away. "Raymond would never hurt you. However I have never seen him like this before. He can be... unpredictable."

"He would never hurt me."

"Just be careful. I am here if you need me."

Carefully she opened the door to Red's bedroom. Though no lights were on, the light pouring through the window was already brightening the room. It was there, in front of that window, where Red was standing. His hands braced against the window frame. His head hung low and she noticed the soft shaking of his shoulders. She softly closed the door behind her and approached him. Just like the day before he didn't seem to notice her presence at all. Her heart broke for him once again. She slid underneath his arms so she could face him. With one hand on the back of his neck she gently guided his head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. He clung to her, his arms wrapped tightly around her. He heard him murmur something into her shoulder, but couldn't understand what he was saying. She rubbed his back and kissed his temple. He finally calmed down and she breathed a sigh of relief. He kept clinging to her though but she didn't mind.

"You left." His voice was rough from the lack of use but his anguish was still so palpable.

So he had noticed her absence. "I..." What was there to say? She had broken her promise to him.

He untangled himself from her. "You promised." He said. He turned his back on her.

He had looked only fleetingly at her, but she'd seen his pain. She grabbed his wrist before he could walk away. "I'm sorry."

He kept his back to her. "I woke up and you weren't there. I thought..." He swallowed thickly and his shoulders slumped once again. "I thought it was all a dream. I hoped it had all been a dream. But then the pain hit me again. It wasn't a dream. I felt the air leaving my lungs and I struggled for another breath. I looked around in need of support but there was no one." He turned around to finally look at her. "I was alone again." He pulled himself free from her grasp. "I'm alone." He walked away without giving her a chance to respond.

"Red." She called out to him. She didn't want him to walk away. She needed him to know that he wasn't alone. That she would always be there for him, if he let her. She walked up to him and put her hand on his back. He back was rigid, the tension in his body obvious. "I'm here." She said to him.

But he didn't turn around. He kept his back to her. She didn't remove her hand though. No matter how hard he was going to push her away, she would show him that he wasn't alone. She didn't want him to stay caught up in his grief. "Why don't you take a showed and come downstairs for breakfast."

"I'm not hungry." He mumbled.

"You have to eat. Go and take a shower. It'll make you feel better."

He turned around, towered over her and stared a down. "A shower will not make me feel better. A shower won't fix the hole in my heart."

She swallowed thickly. For a moment he scared her, but she trusted him to never hurt her. She tried to calm him down. She cupped his jaw and looked straight at him. "I know it won't fix your pain." She caressed his jaw with her thumb. She continued softly and saw his eyes soften. "I'm not ignoring your hurt, but I need you to eat and a shower will do you good too, okay?"

"Okay." He turned his head and softly kissed the palm of her hand that had cupped his jaw.

 **TBC...**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** it took me some time but here's chapter four. I wanted Red to tell Lizzie what happened, but this is where the story took me. I hope that's okay. Next chapter he will tell what happened. I still want Lizzie to take care of him, let Lizzie be the strong one, the one he can lean on. Thank you for those who review and follow. I realise this ship has lost shippers but I still love this ship.

 **Chapter four**

She impatiently waited for him in the kitchen. Looking at her watch it had been almost half an hour now that she'd left his room. She was getting worried. She had everything ready for him. She'd set the table. Coffee was ready and so was the bacon and eggs.

"Morning."

She'd been so lost in thought she hadn't heard him joining her. She turned around and was momentarily at a loss for words. He hadn't shaved, his jaw and chin covered with a rough stubble. It looked good on him. Another surprise were the black framed glasses he was wearing. Add to that his casual look, jeans and a checkered shirt, and she had to admit she liked this look a lot. Not at the current circumstances though.

Uncomfortable with her staring he ran a hand over his jaw before sitting down at the table. Though the shower had made him feel a bit more human, he still felt so much pain. He was glad Lizzie was here with him. However short it might be, her presence comforted him.

Silently Lizzie placed the eggs and bacon on his plate and handed him a cup of coffee. Her hand lingered on his shoulder before she prepared her own breakfast and sat down opposite of him. She observed him while she ate or better said she watched him push around his food on his plate.

"I know I'm not the best of chefs, but surely my food isn't that bad."

He didn't acknowledge her words, but she was sure he had heard her. She'd seen it in slight pauze in his movement. She had his attention. "You need to eat Red. You lost weight." Standing up she walked to him and sat down on the chair next to him. Putting her hand on his arm she looked at him. He wouldn't meet her eyes though. "If you won't eat for you, do it for me, please." She knew how to get to him. When she first got to know him, she thought he didn't have any weaknesses. Over time she discovered his weakness: herself. She was his weakness. He would always do whatever it took to keep her safe and happy. In the worst of times that could also mean he was willing to walk away from her. That was still something she feared.

He looked at her then and once more the sadness in his eyes tore at her heart. She took his hand in hers and entwined their fingers. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" She squeezed his hand. "I'm worried."

He didn't answer her but he kept her hand in his and with his free hand he began to eat his breakfast. Every few minutes his thumb would caress the back of her hand. Was it to make sure she was still there or was it a certain kind of comfort? She didn't know nor did she care.

"How about we take a walk after breakfast?" She suggested. The fresh air would do him good and maybe the walk would make him talk. He gave her a slight nod before finishing his breakfast in silence.

"Good morning Raymond." Dembe greeted his friend. He was glad to see him.

"Dembe."

"Is there anything I can do for you today?"

"Please cancel my appointments. I will be unavailable for the rest of the week. Take the rest of the week off."

Dembe glanced at Lizzie who nodded at him. He knew that his friend wouldn't be alone. "Call me if you need me." He said to both of them and left them alone.

A little while later they were outside walking down the streets. If he wasn't going to start talking she would make him talk. She would give him time though. She didn't want to force him and hoped he would feel comfortable enough with her to talk. A few minutes into their walk he took her hand in his. They didn't say anything to each other, but the silence wasn't unpleasant.

It was a beautiful spring day. The trees were turning green again, the birds were singing their songs, and the flowers were starting to bloom. She loved this time of year. She lead him to a bench in the park and they sat down. She looked at him from the corner of her eyes and still saw the sadness, but he also seemed tense. More tense than before even. Maybe this walk wasn't doing him any good at all.

"Will you tell me what happened?" She turned her body towards him.

He stared into the distance. He didn't want to talk here. He couldn't. He wasn't going to break down in such a public place. The pain was still too fresh, it hurt too much. He did want to tell her, wanted to share this part of him with her but he didn't know where to start. She'd never seen him like this before nor did he want too. Yet he also couldn't hide from her. Not when he felt this weak.

"Please Red, talk to me." She held his hand in hers. "I just wanna help."

"You are." He whispered.

"Red?" She didn't know what to do.

"I can't. Not here, Lizzie." He swallowed thickly, hoping she would understand.

"Okay." She nodded. "When we get home then."

"Okay."

Accepting his reason she leaned against his side and put her head on his shoulder. His arm immediately went around her shoulder and pulled her closer. She felt the tension leave his body when she wrapped her arm around his waist. He kissed her forehead before he lay his head on top of hers.

"Thank you, sweetheart." He said, his voice rough with emotion.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** finally here is the next chapter. It took some time. Though the scenario in this fic would never happen seeing how Liz is written by the writers(she's too selfish to take care of Red). However in fics this can happen and I want her to take care of Red. In this chapter you finally read what has happened. I hope you will enjoy this chapter. Thank you for the reviews and follows. I love them.

 **Chapter five**

"When I was six years old my parents were in a car crash." Red started. They had gotten back from their walk and were now sitting on the terrace in the small garden. "They were killed." He stood up and started to pace. "I became an orphan, my future was uncertain. I don't remember much from those days. I knew my parents weren't coming back, but I was still so young. I couldn't truly comprehend what it all meant."

Lizzie listened to him and watched him pace. She knew he needed the distance from her to tell his story. She would stay here though part of her wanted to reach out, hold him in her arms and give him the strength he needed.

"My mother had a sister, Cathy. She was still in college. She switched universities, moved into my parents home and took care of me. She raised me. She loved me with all her heart. She was like a mother to me and I loved her deeply." He hung his head and tried to take a calming breath but it was no use. His pain was too close to the surface. He felt himself falling apart. "I..." he tried to take a deep breath but it turned more into a shuddering breath. "I got a call last week. Cathy... she, she got into a car accident. They got her to the hospital, but her injuries were too severe. I was there in time to say goodbye." He could no longer hold back his tears. "She was all I had. All my life she was my world and now she's gone." He crumbled to the ground, unable to hold himself up anymore.

Lizzie was immediately at his side and dropped to her knees. She wrapped her arms around his shuddering body and pulled him against her. He buried his face in her neck and tightened his grip on her.

"I'm alone now." He whispered. "She's gone, she's really gone."

"I'm here. Dembe's here." She kissed his temple. "You're not alone, honey." She tightened her arms around him a bit more and gently rocked him hoping it would calm him down. He was leaning fully against her and she realised she couldn't hold them up much longer. Laying down on the ground wasn't an option. She need to get him up on his feet and back irto the house. "Let's go inside, Red." She whispered her suggestion. He was too caught up in his grief to hear her. She realised she needed to take control. She untangled herself from him and crouched down. Taking hold of his shoulders she pulled him up on his feet. He was leaning heavily against her, but moved with her into the house. As they entered the house Dembe entered the house and spotted them. He was immediately at their side and shot Lizzie a worried look. Together they led Red to the couch and sat him down.

"What happened?" Dembe asked Lizzie after they stepped away from Red.

"He thinks he's alone now that Cathy passed away."

"Cathy passed away? Why didn't he tell me?" Dembe sat down next to his friend and grabbed his hands in his. "My friend." He bowed his head and started speaking in his native language.

Lizzie gave them some privacy and watched Red join Dembe in what she guessed might be a prayer. She saw it had a positive effect on Red as he seemed to calm down. In a way it stung that Dembe seemed to be more capable of comforting him than she could.

She left them alone for a moment, knowing Red was in good hands. She waited patiently in the kitchen. It wasn't long before Dembe joined her.

"You knew Cathy?"

"I met her a couple of times. Raymond was very protective of her, as he is with all the people he loves."

Lizzie nodded and glanced around before focusing back on Dembe. "You seemed to have calmed him down." She said and truly hoped she didn't sound jealous.

"Elizabeth, Raymond and I have known each other for a long time. It took quite a while before he told me about Cathy. He doesn't trust easily. But he trusts you with his heart. Go to him." He placed his big hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her out of the kitchen. "I am happy he has you. You know he has the tendency to keep it all bottled up inside. If he does he will become even more ruthless. He needs you. Be there for him, love him like he deserves, like he needs. He deserves happiness and only you can give him that."

"I've never seen him like this."

"Yet he's showing you his grief. That says it all." He gave her one final push towards the living room. "Call me if you need me."

Quietly she walked back into the living room. There were no longer tears running down his face, but his eyes were still held tears.

"Lizzie?" He called for her, his voice vulnerable, weak even. He needed her.

He watched her every move until she was seated next to him again. He looked at her as if she held the answers he needed. After a moment he looked away again and stared into space. "I miss her. I miss her so much." He angrily wiped away a lone tear. He didn't want to show this much weakness in front of Lizzie but he seemed to be unable to stop himself. "I hope she knew how much I loved her, how much she meant to me. I owe her everything and I don't think I ever did her or what she did for me justice." He bowed his head and lost himself in memories of his life with Cathy. Once more the tears started to flow freely.

"Ooh Raymond." She whispered brokenly. It truly hurt her to see him like this. If only she could bear the burden she would.

TBC...


End file.
